The Effect Of Always Picking Mr Wrong

I used to be a strong believer in love but I find it hard to believe in it anymore. I don’t trust anymore and any guy that “tries” I know their just after one thing and that’s it just entertainment for them not the girl worth making a real effort for or loving, no I’m the one they use and verbally insult and do what they want, they don’t care and I’ve gotten to the point where maybe I no longer care, I’m broken and not worth making whole, I’m just a punching bag, someone they can break down till there’s nothing else but emptiness. I don’t have any real emotions anymore what’s the point anyone who I think might care about me doesn’t and just feeds bullshit and lies till they get what they want and once they do I become dirt to them. Having to pretend everything is okay, that your happy but really, I’m broken, my walls are up, I no longer believe the bullshit and I’m numb and cant feel love if it really is out there.

2 thoughts on “The Effect Of Always Picking Mr Wrong

  1. I think that this is a nice subject and title. The subject connects to me as I have suffered during my early life/years from being abused because of selecting the wrong persons to be with. And I’ve always questioned myself about the reason why I keep doing this again? Why I get attracted to persons who eventually ends up abusing me?

    Well. I know now that we are attracted to others basically because of the way they look, and then because of the things we have in common. But that should not be the case all of the time. I mean that it has to do with the self-image, i.e. how I see or think of myself. If I think of myself as a kind person then I’ll look for the same. If I think of myself as a victim, I’ll try to find people who might agree with me on this self-image or point of view. And most likely, and by thinking this way, I will meet with more and more victims, or in other word people who think of themselves as victims…

    If I think of myself as strong or a winner, I’ll also seek that in the people I approach. And if I don’t find that i’ll walk away and look for other with the same criteria.

    The problem of being with the wrong people persisted until recent years. But finally – it’s over. It changed when I stopped thinking of myself as anything, or anyone, with any particular characteristic such as nice, strong, week, smart and so on. I am what I am, and I don’t have a definition tot that. Therefore I can’t define others any more. Or at the least I am not seeking relations (with the similar).. I don’t develop strong attachments anymore. I mean I don’t think of someone as (My) friend, or as being a (Friend) expecting certain characteristics because I have a prejudgment on what a (friend) is.. I just take it easy, respect things and others the way they are. I don’t try to change myself or others…

    🙂

    Like

  2. Hmm.. Everything, everyone – be that a human – insect – plant , with a form or without is a unique thumb in this universe. Any attempt to label it or describe it will always be limited. We are a miracle. Everything is a miracle. And it’s all one composed of miraculous parts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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